Crystal Light On-the-Go (Fruit Punch flavor)

J-LAM Says:
When I was a kid, cherry Kool-Aid was a staple in my Mom's fridge. But she cared about my health. (At least as much as any parent who thinks artificially colored and flavored sugar water is adequate nutrition for a 10-year-old hyperactive kid.) So, she always mixed it with 2/3 the sugar the package recommended. That made her feel better, and I never even knew she was totally deceiving me. Of course, the first time I stumbled across FULL STRENGTH Kool-Aid, I was over a friend's house. After two swallows, I knew this had to be some incredible new invention I had yet to experience.  It couldn't possibly be the same substance I had downed by the gallon for years.  THIS STUFF WAS INTENSE!
But, I digress.
That's what this stuff tastes like to me. Kool-Aid without enough sugar. There's a weird... ack! feeling in the back of my throat as I swallow, but there is an impressive lack of the blechy, synthetic flavor I expect when drinking a diet beverage. Overall, because I've learned to forgive and forget and am mostly over my scarring childhood, I give Crystal Light On-the-Go a...

TERRIFIC!

B-COM Says:
Standing in Target, looking at the selection of what I call "adult Kool-Aid", Crystal Light, I suddenly heard a voice over my shoulder. A tall, heavy-set man in a dark hoodie with nothing underneath (except a mat of grizzled chest hair,) had just appeared next to me like a ninja. There was no sound. There was no movement, he was just... THERE.
You know what I mean?
Anyway, he says, "Hey, there's more of that by the soda aisle. I drink it all the time for my sugar level."
Now, looking back on it, that statement seems logical enough. Maybe even normal.
But all I heard was, "Drink Crystal Light and you'll be a ninja!"
So, I bought it.
I decided on Fruit Punch as it had 5 calories and 0 carbs, as opposed to the Raspberry Peach, which had 10 calories and carbs to boot. As I dumped a packet into my bottle of clear water, it quickly turned a deep, dark Hawaiian Punch red.
How oddly calming.
It has a nice fruit flavor, and I don't notice the artificial flavoring or sweetener too much.
However, I am disappointed in one thing. After one pack... no ninja powers.
Fortunately there's 8 packs to go...

TERRIFIC!

Vanilla Mud

Mud is touted as "Coffee for the rest of us!", and is available in three flavors plus an extra-strong Dyno-Mud variety. Check them all out here: http://www.drinkmud.com/.

B-Com Says:

This is coffee in a can. Straight up. Coffee, vanilla, milk. Tasty.

TERRIFIC!

J-Lam Says:

He's a man of few words. (But not often enough!)

Here is yet another coffee drink. Looking back at the Terrific Or Turd postings, we're obviously drawn to these things for bad or for good.

Mud looks like the others: a solid texture and color, which is appetizing. (See our A&W Root Beer Float post for a bad example of this important point.) But, it tastes much better. It's not as sweet as, say, a Starbucks Frappuccino. This puts it a notch above Starbucks in my mind.

It's also not the same funky-fake vanilla flavor I've come to expect from vanilla coffee drinks, which is a pleasent surprise. There is a fairly high sugar content for a drink that's not too sweet, but not enough to turn me off to it.

Overall, I'm inpressed. Very good. I'll buy it again.

TERRIFIC!

Phat Phruit (Grape-Strawberry Phlavor)

Phat Phruit is another addition to the vast energy drink market, this time in the form of 40-calories of phruitilicious juice. (Sorry for the ph-thing, after reading their website, you'll understand: http://www.phatphruit.com/)

B-Com Says:

Opening the bottle, I got a pungent whiff of something that reminded me of a bottle of Flintstone vitamins. That's a weird scent in a bottle of juice, and made me hesitate.

But, taking one for the home team, I tipped it back and here was my exact reaction:

"Mmmm, this tastes like Hi-C with a -- WHOA! What the--" It was tough to swallow. Let me try again...

"Mmm, I like the -- aaacckkk!" (shudder shudder) "Whew! I'm done."

I don't think that's the reaction they were going for. There's something hidden there in the juice-like concoction, and it's not right. Not at all.

TURD!

J-Lam Says:

This is an energy drink that just tastes like juice. In some ways, that's a good thing. But in checking the ingredients, I wonder how effective it can be with just a dash of caffeine and a dose of Vitamin B-12 in it.

The normal energy drink flavor and aftertaste are missing, and it's non-carbonated which I really like. But, it's also only 40 calories, and my D+ in 10th grade Biology was enough to teach me that calories are what the body actually uses for energy. So if this stuff has less than a third of the calories of normal juice, plus caffeine and B-12, what the hell's it going to do to me?

UPDATE: After about 20 minutes I went through a five-minute period where I was unable to remain seated and felt the need to call B-Com and tell a stupid joke before hanging up and running away laughing. After five minutes I came back to my desk, sheepishly, resumed my work, and fell into my afternoon slump right on schedule.

This stuff is a phreaking

TURD!

Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry Chocolate

The picture really says it all. (Special thanks to penmachine.com for a fitting pic! Enjoyed your blog! http://www.penmachine.com/2008/02/do-not-buy-diet-cherry-chocolate-dr)



J-Lam Says:

The packaging is very retro: swoops and bubbles, all pastel shades of pink and silver and brown. I think they're going for the 50's look to bring back memories of soda fountain creations. But let's remember that kids paid a nickel for those old treasures, and that's about what this one's worth too!



When I poured it into the cup I was surprised by the funny reddish color. Dr. Pepper doesn't look good in red, and my first thought was "oh boy, it's gonna be super sweet." It wasn't.



Instead, I got a flavor I can only describe as "mild Robutussin." This was no doubt the artificial cherry flavor they infused into an otherwise delicious soda. Combined with the funky aspartame aftertaste, which I can never stand, it completely lost me after the first swallow.



I forced myself to try again, searching desperately for the chocolate advertised on the label. It was only barely noticeable when I swished it around in my mouth like a fine wine.



Fine wine this is not. It's not fine at all.

TURD.

B-Com Says:

May I remind everyone, this is a diet soda! They all taste like that! (Yes, J-Lam, I'm attacking you!) Let's break it down:

Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry Chocolate. Does it deliver what it says it will deliver? Yes. That doesn't mean it's good. I didn't pick up the bottle because Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry Chocolate sounded delicious, I picked it up because it was new and I wanted to try something new.

It tastes kind of like a cherry Tootsie Roll, so it delivers the goods as advertised. But honestly, my first reaction when I took a mouthful was "Oh my God! Who would drink this stuff?"

The chocolate is a surprise. A kind of a sock-you-in-the-mouth type of flavor. The cherry is more subtle, the Abbott to the chocolate's Costello.

To sum it up, does it deliver? Yes. Do I like it? No.

TURD.

P.S. If you want a chuckle, check out this YouTube video for Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry Chocolate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2x2W12A8Qow

Mana Energy Potion

[:Mana Energy Potion:]

J-Lam Says:
This "Energy For Gamers" shot is in a really cool package. I'm not a WOW player, but it sure looks like it came from a medevil apothecary (that's ye old CVS for those of you who need to read more.)

The color is a deep seaweed green, not quite the emerald their website seems to display, and it was a bit intimidating. But when I tipped back the 1.35 ounce shot, I was pleasently surprised! The flavor was intense, as I'd expect because it's not diluted by 8 ounces of carbonated water, but it wasn't unpleasent. I kept expecting to get the shivers from that one and only swallow, but they never came.

As for effect, I had a tough time distinguishing one. To give it the benefit of the doubt, I downed the shot at about 12:30 pm, 30 minutes before I normally crash into my early afternoon energy slump. I didn't crash, so that was probably the boost from the Mana. But, I also didn't feel the normal zing I get from a Red Bull or a Rock Star, so it's tough to tell.

Further experimentation may be needed. Either way, I'm comfortable giving Mana Energy Potions a TERRIFIC!


B-Com Says:
This sour, citrusy drink tastes okay. That's actually saying a lot because I don't much care for the flavor of energy drinks, and I don't like sour either. So, the thought of a sour energy drink is not pleasing to me.

In checking over the ingredients I noticed they used artificial sweetner. I didn't notice when I swallowed it. How did they do that? Normally, I can pick out an artificial sweetner as soon as it touches my tounge. Another mark in their favor.

The manapotions.com website boasts that this shot contains twice the caffein of Red Bull, but on the package, caffeine is just listed as one component of their "Energy Potion" so there's no way to confirm that. Based on effect, I have some doubts.

I purchased six of them and when they arrived it appeared one had leaked in the package. And the "Use by..." dates had been wiped from two of the bottles, but the rest were dated October of 2008.

All in all, for a first product from a small start-up company looking to take on the big boys in a crowded and competative market, I'm impressed. I call Mana Energy Potions TERRIFIC!

A&W Float and Sunkist Float Sodas

The Cadbury/Schweppes company's Dr. Pepper/7-Up division has decided to destroy a cherished piece of your childhood. Here's the site: http://www.floats.com/.

A&W Float

B-Com Says:

How does it look? Have you ever gone barhopping, gotten really sick, and the Devil comes out of you? You're close. It was so intimidating, I couldn't look it straight in the eye. Repulsive.

How does it taste? Well, if there's any way to complement this drink, it's this: it tastes exactly as I would expect after looking at it. It took the entire sharp, bright taste I remember from floats as a kid and ruined it. Flat, with a horrible after-taste.

J-Lam Says:

This stuff looks like rotten dishwater. It's packaged in a nice colorful bottle, and it's a damn good thing, because if it came in a clear bottle, you'd think something crawled inside and died before they got the cap on.

It's super sweet and thick, but not in the "rich and creamy" way. More in the "God save the queen" way. Although it tries hard to get close to hinting at the flavor of a root beer float, I can't get past the gunkiness of it. And I can't get it out of my throat!

Sunkist Float

B-Com Says:

How does it look? Whoa, whoa whoa! What an improvement over it's ugly kid sister! Picture a melted creamsicle in a cup. That's how it looks.

Now, how does it taste? I was really excited to try this because a few co-workers had tried it and loved it. I don't know if it was all their hype, or the clinging aftertaste of the worst thing I've ever choked down (see above), but though it tastes "right", it's flat and not intense in any way. I miss the bubbles.

J-Lam Says:

Sunkist Float has the same snazzy packaging, but delivers the goods inside as well with a liquid I can handle putting in my mouth.

Once again, though, it's sickeningly sweet with a gooey slickness that stays with you long after you've tried to forget it. Plus, I caught an unexpected funky "diet" flavor in there. I checked the label, and there are no artificial sweeteners, but I'd already made my decision anyway. Not impressed.

With little discussion beyond searching for a palate-cleansing chaser, we both agree to grace the Floats with our first full-scale TURD!

Rockstar Roasted Energy Drink

Rockstar's coffee-infused addition to the energy drink parade is touted online here: http://www.rockstar69.com/product.php?pdt=9

We picked up Rockstar Roasted for $2.39 in a drug store cooler, bottom shelf. The can lacked the pizzazz of most of the other Rockstar labels, but holds true to the basic design, and the gold lettering on our Mocha-flavored can was pretty sharp. This drink combines the standard Rockstar "energy blend" with espresso and cream for a Starbuck's drink with Rockstar attitude!

B-Com says:
I ran up the stairs!

I actually drank a serving of Rockstar Roasted, grimaced a little at the initial taste (it wasn't what I was expecting,) then got used to it quickly, and walked away thinking, "not bad, but it doesn't make me feel like running up the stairs. . . "

Then, I ran up the stairs!

Of course, when I got to the top, I almost died. Rockstar doesn't make you fit, but I FELT like I could keep running, and THAT's what we drink this stuff for! Terrific!


J-Lam says:
I liked Rockstar Roasted a lot. Among the huge supply of energy drinks on the market right now, Rockstar was already my speed of choice because I think it has the best effect without jitters, and (bonus!) tastes the best too.

But Roasted is another step in the right direction: it tastes much better than original Rockstar, with no loss in effect! The flavor and texture were very much like a Frappuccino, but with a better zing. I concur with my partner: Terrific.