Guatamalen Candies' Tropical Marshmallows

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ivonewb/2747853165/

I tried really hard to find a picture of these things for you, but I didn't have my camera with me, and the rest of the 'net is apparently just as unimpressed as we were by Guatemalan Candy's Tropical Marshmallows. Here's the link to their odd website: http://www.guandy.com/. There's a picture on there if you're willing to hunt blindly for it.

J-Lam Says:
I'm a pretty easy-going guy. I don't complain much, especially when it comes to food. So it's pretty rare for me to actually get offended about something I try for Terrific or Turd. I mean, it's not easy to get me downright ANGRY about foodstuffs, and when it happens, I'm just as surprised as everyone else. But let me tell you, the results are rarely pretty. Tremendous amounts of destruction, and potential bodily harm may ensue! In fact, I would venture to say that when food pisses me off, there could very possibly be death on the agenda...

Fortunately, I couldn't be bothered getting angry at these things. They're marshmallows. I mean, if they weren't all manner of weird, layered pastel colors, and if they didn't claim on the package to contain assorted tropical fruit flavors, I could have enjoyed them with as much empty satisfaction as I would any marshmallow. It's air-puffed, chewy sugar with a powdery coating of something-or-other that keeps it from sticking to your fingers, right? Not much to it.

As it stands, these get an immediate turd simply because they aren't what they claim to be. There is no fruit flavor, there is no "assorted" anything. It's just marshmallows with artificial color added. Carcinogenic air-puffed sugar. Whoop-dee-doo.

TURD!

J-Dag Says:
I tried the yellow-blue combination, but it doesn't matter. There is no flavor at all. It's not fruity. It is a

TURD!

D-Wag Says:
The pink-white marshmallow reminds me of chewing on a pencil eraser. Have you ever toasted a pencil eraser?

TURD!

B-Com Says:
Well, you can see this did not go over really well. Yes, I thought these soft, pastel colored fruit-flavored gems had promise. When I think of marshmallows dancing in my head, it's these little beauties I picture. I watched as three of my fellow taste-testers completely trashed them, and even though I agreed with them, I really wanted to find SOMETHING to praise. Something that would make the whole exercise worth it.

Here it is: There are two recipes provided on the package... OK, there's one recipe, and a Spanish translation of that recipe. Also, they're GLUTEN FREE!! That's great for all you gluten-haters out there! They're made with halaal gelatin for those of the nation of Islam!

And here's the creme de la creme: This product contains NO GENETICALLY MODIFIED SUBSTANCES! (Yes, it actually says that right on the package.) That's obviously what makes it so good.

Bottom line: does it taste like marshmallows? Yes. Does it taste like assorted tropical fruits? No.

TURD!