Doritos Collisions – Cheesy Enchilada / Sour Cream

The all-American snack chip gets a hot new flavor!!!! …again.

J-Lam Says:

I’m getting a little tired of Frito Lay’s recent “flavor of the hour” Doritos marathon. Don’t get me wrong, Doritos in just about any variation will always be a serviceable snack, and these are no different. They’re tasty. Not exactly like cheesy enchiladas and sour cream, but close enough when you’re chowing them four at a time and chasing with cold hot chocolate. (Don’t ask.) But I bristle at the gimmicky marketing that has resulted in about 112 variations of cheese Doritos, about four of which I would be able to peg as different without a package telling me so. Still, all in all, it’s still Doritos. So, it’s still

TERRIFIC!

B-Com Says:

MMmmmm…. Doritos! This is the good stuff. Cheesy Enchilada has the nice thick, powdery dusting of flavor and spice you’re used to. The corn chip is light and crispy. The Cheesy Enchilada flavor comes off spicy and cheesy just as you would expect.

The only thing I don’t understand is the Sour Cream. Logically, this should be a lighter, cooling flavor to counteract the spicy kick of the Enchilada, just like real life. But in this bag, the Sour Cream flavor gets beat all to heck by the monstrous Enchilada. It’s like a hero cop who gets framed and lands in the general population at the state pen, where he put away half the lowlifes in the state. He gets completely FUBAR’d. You find him completely covered with Cheesy Enchilada fingerprints, his spirit broken and crying at the bottom of the bag. IF you know what I mean…

Otherwise,

TERRIFIC!

Original Corn Nuts

This classic munchable is still apparently alive and well, at least at Walgreen’s…

J-Lam Says:

Corn Nuts definitely provide “The Ultimate Crunch” they advertise. This snack is so simple, we’re talking THREE ingredients. And that’s all it needs. (Maybe ye ole’ Munch Bar could learn a thing or two from these whole grain tidbits.) To me, they tasted great. Just like I remember them from way back. I also love how they count of the nutritional figures in an “entire package” format along with the saner 1/3 cup serving size. They know these things are addictive and that guys like me WILL consume the whole damn thing any way, so it’s good to know where we fatty’s stand.

TERRIFIC!

B-Com Says:

When J-Lam lunged past me to grab this bag of Corn Nuts off the rack at Walgreen’s, I was amazed for two reasons. First, he commented “they still have a bag left!” which made me think he was just as amazed as I was that they’re still making this archaic snack from the 90’s. Then, he continued with “that’s my favorite snack of all time!” Now this is the same J-Lam who prefers Sega over Nintendo, who writes poetry, who enjoys listening to his favorite band, Dream Theater, while wearing a cloak… so why am I surprised?

I watch him rifling them down (as in, pouring them into his hand, and literally gobbling them up) and I notice a bright red starburst on the package warning of a choking hazard! “Do Not Give To Children Under Six!” it says. I love the updated tag line: Eat it! Taste it! Hear it!! Choke it!!!

TURD!

Munch Nut Bar

The geniuses that brought you Snickers have stumbled this time…

B-Com Says:

Let me start off by saying how hesitant I am to eat a candy bar named “Munch”. I don’t know why, but I giggle every time I say it. J-Lam does too, so it can’t just be me. Go on, say it with me: “Munch!” “MUNCH!!” You’re laughing too.

Anyway, the wrapper says “pure, natural peanut goodness” and also mentions “six simple ingredients”. Let me read them off to you: Peanuts, sugar, butter, corn syrup, salt, soy lecithin. Now with the exception of ingredient number six, which I’m not really sure about, the rest sounds good, right? Tasty stuff. OK, it’s got me. I am actually looking forward to eating this thing called “Munch”.

I opened the package and noticed it reminded me very much of peanut brittle. I like peanut brittle! Now we’re really cooking with gas: I like five of the six ingredients, I like peanut brittle… this should be great! Then I took my first bite.

All the anticipation goes away and I’m left with something in my mouth that somehow tastes flat. I don’t even get a fresh peanut flavor out of a peanut candy bar. I can see peanuts, they crunch like peanuts, even smell like peanuts… how do they do it? How do they manage to suck out all the great peanut flavor, and leave with “Munch”? I may just have to go to www.munchnutbar.com and let them know their non-peanut peanut candy bar is a

TURD!

J-Lam Says:

The wrapper highlights this bar’s “six simple ingredients” and “pure natural goodness”. It also touts that this is a low-glycemic-index snack. The fact is, it has 220 calories, 15 grams of fat and 18 grams of carbs packed into a brain-bending candy/granola bar half-breed. It’s sold in the candy bar section, and its nutritional values reflect that they chose correctly in that regard. At approximately 60 calories per bite, this is no diet food.

It tasted fine to me, because sweet and salty peanuts will always be a guaranteed winner. But for my money, and for the damage I’m doing to my svelte waistline, I’d rather grab a PayDay any day of the week.

TURD!