Jelly Belly Pudding

We attacked this Jelly Belly Pudding with fervor and abandon, sharing it freely with several co-workers, and each trying all four flavors! As it turns out, that may not have been the right tactic. To start, we’ll take a look at some of the non-affiliated taste test results from our special correspondents, M-Sca (who joined us in the four-flavor-fray, but only lasted through Watermelon and Bubblegum), L-Wil who attacked the Watermelon and R-Bat who dominated the Very Cherry!

L-Wil says:

The only way I can really describe the watermelon flavor Jelly Belly Pudding is that it’s like eating a mushy, creamy Jolly Rancher. The same intense watermelon flavor hits you hard with the first mouthful. Then, after a short time, it fades to an awful aftertaste. Then, (and this is truly frightening), after five minutes, the watermelon COMES BACK to hit you again! Gack.

TURD.

R-Bat says:

Although my initial thought was that this would taste like Robotussin (or even perhaps Wal-tussin) I am happy to report it was neither.

My first taste took me back a bit, but that must have been my fear because the more I ate, I began to like it. Then I realized why, it tastes just like Luden’s cough drops!

And let’s face it, who in the history of mankind as EVER eaten those strictly in hopes of clearing up a bad cough? However after the age of 12, you cannot eat Luden’s because then you just look weird to the world.

So along comes this pudding, and not only am I able to once again taste that cherry-goodness and not look like a weirdo, but the flavor also brings back memories of when times were simpler and medicine was candy.

TERRIFIC!

M-Sca says:

The watermelon flavor is the best of the bunch. But that’s not saying much. Bubblegum tastes like Big League Chew, which really does not belong in a pudding. My opinion: there are only two legitimate pudding flavors: chocolate and vanilla. That’s where it should end. This was a bad idea that didn’t get caught in the planning stages.

TURD.

J-Lam says:

Just look at these things. Seriously. They remind me of the Nickelodeon Slime I used to love to carry around so I could gross out the girls in second grade by pretending to sneeze and hanging a handful of it out my nose.

Those were the days.

But anyway, I will admit I was pretty intimidated by the whole idea of trying all four of these intense, frightening-looking flavor bombs, but I’m here for the long haul as you know, so I said a little prayer and dug in. I don’t remember much about what happened next, but here’s what I wrote down:

• Bubblegum – Ach! Get it outta my mouth! It made me want to chew and spit.Blueberry – This was acceptable, but not good.


• Blueberry is great for yogurt, but not for pudding. Not sure why it makes a difference, but my throat is rejecting the pudding. It has a sharp tang and a broad aftertaste.


• Watermelon – Aarrrgghh!! Back to Bubblegum. Lord have mercy!


• Very Cherry – This one was actually fairly good. I decided to finish the cup to get the taste of the other three out of my mouth. I won’t buy it again, though. It wasn’t THAT good.

TURD!

B-Com Says:

I decided to try Jelly Belly Pudding after seeing Gabby buy it for her son Xzavier. I’m glad I did, because it made for a very entertaining lunch hour.

After tasting each one, I had a general idea of what everyone would say. But rather than jumping into what an ADULT would say, let’s consider for a moment the target market Jelly Belly is going for here: pre-tween wrestling fans! The Jelly Bean Kings are taking the pudding status quo to task – normal flavors beware!

These bright, jazzy carnival-like colors and flavors come tromping down to the ring to the sound of “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC and the crowd goes wild! It’s a four-on-one Deathmatch of Doom starring (in order of flavor-quality) Very Cherry, Watermelon, Bubblegum and Blueberry versus good old B-Com. J-Lam serves as my worthless tag-team partner. I take on each flavor one at a time while he tries to distract the other three. That lasted about five seconds before Bubblegum pantsed him, Blueberry went high and Watermelon went low and J-Lam was down for the count. With J-Lam out of the picture, they ganged up on me set me up for the ultimate doomsday device! Blueberry (fourth on the list of the Carnival of Misfits) proceeds to punk me out like it’s 1985 am I’m New Coke.

All in all, it’s colorful, fun-flavored it’s… FUN. It’s just missing the adult market, which unfortunately is the market in charge of buying groceries.

TURD.

Archer Farms Ginger Beer

We got to drink beer at work today, during a COOKOUT TAILGATE PARTY!!! How cool is that?

J-Lam says:

I’ve had a unique version of ginger beer before, and really liked it. It was Jamaican and had capsaicin (the hot stuff from hot peppers) in it, which really gave it a serious kick. I’m also a big fan of ginger ale (which is really nothing like ginger beer, but has a hint of the same flavor to it), so I went into this expecting to enjoy it.

For a change, I was not disappointed! It seems every time I go into one of these taste-tests expecting to like something, I’m disappointed or at least let down because I don’t like it as much as I hoped to. In this case, it was just as good as I expected!

For some reason, while still in the bottle, the beer looked thick and viscous. The bubbles rose slow, making it look like golden motor oil. Don’t let that hold you back. It doesn’t taste that way, and if you’re interested in a different taste that really delivers the goods, you’ll enjoy Archer Farms Ginger Beer as much as I did! It’s…

TERRIFIC!

B-Com says:

I’m not a fan of ginger beer. I may be slightly biased because Gabby already sent me an e-mail labeling this stuff as a Turd, and I respect her opinion. Still, as the consummate professional, wanting to offer the customer-comes-first Terrific or Turd level of service you’ve come to expect from us, I managed to completely flush out all outside influences to give this a true, unbiased honest-to-God opinion.

It’s a turd.

Give me something that almost tastes like something I like, then throw in a spicy curveball and you will fail every time. Sorry.

TURD!

Subway - Salads and Pizza?!?!?!

Subway is the perennial sandwich shop. The largest franchise restaurant in the nation, and a personal favorite among the T or T crowd. But, we wanted to find out what happens when you stray from the formula that has made them great. What if you saunter on up to the counter at the world’s greatest sandwich joint and order a salad and a pizza?

B-Com Says:
I immediately noticed the sign announcing that “Any Sandwich Can Be a Salad!” so I decided to test that theory. I decided to go with a Seafood Salad salad (is that stuttering?) so my Sandwich Artist jumped right out of her element, grabbed a bowl and started loading it up with lettuce, my choice of toppings and a balsamic vinaigrette dressing. Now, I would have expected (because my opinion is correct in this case) that she would have dressed the greens with the vinaigrette, then topped it with a serving of the seafood salad. Instead, my Sandwich Artist proved her newbie status as a Salad Architect by dropping on the seafood, then slathering it all in dressing.

“Eeek!” I whimpered pitifully. But it was too late.

Was it horrible? No. Was it my preference? No. I would strongly recommend that the folks at Subway take a lesson from the masters at Salad Creations if they really want to bust into the salad market. But all-in-all I was impressed with a decent salad from a sandwich joint.

TERRIFIC!

J-Lam says:
I’m always interested in trying something new at a well-known place. Sometimes that torks B-Com off because he doesn’t feel it’s a fair representation of a restaurant’s real value or quality to rate them based on an obscure menu item no one orders. And believe me, I fully understand and respect the powerful hammer we wield as the proprietors of Terrific or Turd. With one gracefully written article, we can literally destroy the hopes and dreams of an entire corporation, or drag a struggling franchise owner into the multi-billion-dollar limelight of nationwide success! We can change and mold the world to our own design just by spewing our venomous opinions on those we despise, and heaping our blessed praise on those we enjoy!

We are GODS AMONG BLOGGERS!!!!!

Anyway, I’ve been a big fan of Subway subs for a long time. I walked in and found that they now offer personal pizzas! Mulling over the Dunkin’ Donuts Debochle from a few months ago, I hesitated a moment before ordering the sausage pizza. As I expected, the Sandwich Artist stooped to pull something from a freezer beneath the counter. This was exactly how it started in Dunkin’ Donuts, and I cringed right away.

But that’s where the similarities ended! He pulled out a frozen crust, unwrapped it and proceeded to ladle on fresh sauce, crumbled sausage from the heated pot nearby and a handful of fresh mozzarella from among the sandwich toppings nearby. He loaded that nice-looking pie into the super-fast-non-microwave oven behind him, and in a minute I had a piping hot pizza before me that looked for all the world like I had made it myself at home.

Get this, Dunkin Donuts: No cardboard crust! No dehydrated sausage pellets! No thin, dried crust of sauce!

This was a really good example of pizza made well by a place that doesn’t generally do pizza! I was impressed, and would certainly eat it again, even if the next time I drop by Subway, I go back to my good old turkey breast and ham with mayo.

TERRIFIC!