Burger King's Angry Whopper

Burger King has introduced another of its gimmick Whoppers, and who's there to make sure it's safe for the masses? Terrific or Turd.

First, consider this...

Angry Whopper

880 Calories

55 g. Fat (18 Saturated, 2 Trans)

1670 mg. Sodium

59 g. Carbs

3 g. Fiber

13 g. Sugar

37 g. Protein

Angry Triple Whopper

1360 Calories

91 g. Fat (33 Saturated, 4 Trans)

1680 mg. Sodium

59 g. Carbs

3 g. Fiber

13 g. Sugar

77 g. Protein

B-Com Says:

After taking the picture above, then sitting down to my "regular size" Angry Whopper, minus the jalepenos (yeah, I'm a wuss,) I was reminded of a comedy bit done by Dave Attel about "time travel." Of course, he's talking about how when you drink too much, sometimes you black out and wake up at another bar... or seven years down the road.

I'm reminded of this story because I remember the first time J-Lam and I tried a gimmick Whopper from Burger King, it was the KONG Whopper, which I made sure to order for him with extra EVERYTHING including a fourth patty! That afternoon, about two hours after he downed that sucker, J-Lam called me to tell me he had suddenly felt very light-headed and chilled, he had rushed to the bathroom, planted himself on the john, and promptly "time traveled" for about ten minutes. He blamed it on the burger.

So, I picked up my Whopper with trepidation. Will I time travel this time?

Having been fairly disappointed the last time we did this (the horrendous Indiana Jones Whopper,) I was not expecting much any way, time travel or not.

But my first bite turned that around in a hurry. I was amazed how the burger wizards had melded so many ingredients very different from the standard Whopper (bacon, crispy fried onion, funky red-yellow-orange sauce) and yet the flavors meshed flawlessly. I genuinely enjoyed this fast food burger.

I did not even consider the nutritional facts. When I pulled them up back at the office, I was, of course, horrified by what I just put in my body. But, it was so good... I might just do it again!

TERRIFIC!

J-Lam Says:

Now look. You're walking into a restaurant where you order your food standing up from bright, image-laden menus on the ceiling above you. Your host wears a maroon polo shirt and a matching visor cap. You decide whether you want the kid's meal just so you can play with the 3-inch-tall Barbie they're offering this week, and you carry your food to your table on an unbreakable brown plastic tray.

All things considered, if you've delved this far into America's fascination with early death, why would you come back to the office and look up the nutritional facts? You know you're killing yourself. There's, like, a Surgeon General's warning on the entrance isn't there?

Anyway, that being said, I too was taken aback by the day's worth of nutrients I inhaled in the ten bites it took me to finish my Angry Triple Whopper.

As you know, I'm a huge Whopper fan... in more ways than one. And whenever we try one of their new variations, B-Com insists I go super-size. I hate to see him whine and stamp his feet, so I comply. If my wife is reading this, let me make it clear that I did not order fries. That would have been suicidal, and probably was a contributing factor to the whole Time Travel episode B-Com mentioned.

I ordered the Angry Whopper just as it comes, including the jalepenos. (I am not a wuss, at least when it comes to hot things.) I thought the whole presentation was excellent. The new Angry Sauce was really tasty - a combination of sweet and spicy that brought to mind honey-mustard and Red Hot, although that may not be accurate. The crispy fried onions were a delicious touch, and the plain old Whopper goodness still showed through all that to make for a spectacular burger experience.

The only thing I would suggest is if you order it with the jalepenos, make sure the pimply-faced kid in back spreads them out evenly. Even if you're not a wuss, a bite with nine jalepeno slices in it because they were all thrown on in a pile is no fun.

TERRIFIC!

Fuddrucker's - World's Greatest Hamburgers??

JLAM Says:

Fuddrucker’s touts themselves as having the World’s Greatest Hamburgers. Now, personally, I think that’s a really tough claim to make. I mean, I tout myself as being a true burger aficionado, and when I put my gut to it, I can slap down a pretty mean burger on the backyard grill. The Whopper, as you know, is really tough to beat, and Red Robin has a few menu items that I could potentially kill for. But, all things considered, I do have to admit that Fuddrucker’s makes a really good burger, for a reasonable price.

The atmosphere is more formal than a Five Guys, but less than a Red Robin. The ordering process is quick and easy, and the self-serve toppings bar allows full customization with no boundaries. Fuddrucker’s successfully combines the feel and speed of a fast food joint with the more substantial fare of a sit-down restaurant.

Now, although burgers are definitely my thing, I forced myself to order the item that grabbed our attention and caused us to come: the Turkey Sliders platter. Basically, three mini Turkey burgers with a side of sweet potato fries and your own topping bar creations to spruce it up. I decided to go simple on the toppings: a little BBQ sauce, tomato, dill pickle. It was truly excellent. And I liked the fact that it wasn’t marketed as some weird freak show cousin to the real burger. This turkey stood up on its own merits and really stole the show. The side of sweet potato fries was also a refreshing change from the ordinary. The only thing I would probably rethink is the raspberry dipping sauce they provided with the fries. A little too much like jam in my book.

Overall, though, I’d have to give the Turkey Sliders, and Fuddrucker’s on the whole a towering…

TERRIFIC!!

BCOM Says:

Fuddrucker’s has been in Albany a year or less, so I fully expected a clean, new feel to the place. That’s exactly how I felt as I was walking up to the cafeteria-style menu. I went classic with a simple 2/3 lb. burger with bacon, mushrooms and cheese, and a side salad. I asked for Caesar dressing, and instead received a Caesar side salad, but that turned out to be a good choice.

After placing the order, I was handed my buzzer and we went to find a seat.

Now, since I was sitting with JLam and Wipp, I’m praying to God to set that buzzer off quickly! It took about a minute for me to get tired of them sharing war stories about mechanical conquests they’ve made over the years and car problems they’ve dealt with. Fortunately, it only took another three minutes or so to get our food. When that buzzer went off, I was like a bat out of hell…

The lettuce was crisp, and the salad had just the right amount of dressing, plus some really delectable homemade croutons. The burger and bacon were well-done, exactly as I’d ordered, and the mushrooms were spread evenly across the burger (what a concept!) All engines were GO so far!

Heading back to my seat from the “have-it-your-way” (sorry, BK) toppings bar, getting ready to leave the atmosphere en route to Burger Heaven, I ran into the first (and only) “Houston, we have a problem.” Searching for clean silverware turned out to be about as easy as locating a good episode of Cop Rock.

That’s a little gross. But, I was eventually successful.

Getting back to the food, everything tasted as it should. No other surprises were forthcoming, and I had an enjoyable meal. If Fuddrucker’s cleans up its silverware problem, it would be a top-notch, Grade A establishment. For now, they’ll have to settle for…

TERRIFIC!!

And now a special treat for all you TerrificOrTurders out there:

Our first GUEST BLOGGER!!!

Wipp Says:

Well call me a guest on this blog. Being a fan of terrific or turd and a person who enjoys food as well I was truly honored when asked if I would like to post my thoughts on my dining experience at Fuddruckers. First let me state the pressure is on to meet the standards that JLAM and BCOM have with their writing skills. With that said I still don't understand how you can say "There's a weird... ack! " about a food or drink and still call it terrific BCOM has really put the pressure on by offering to pick up the tab. Now being a person who will never turn down a free meal, I just had to say yes. However, I am sure that there will be an opportunity to return the favor. I am thinking the dollar menu at McDonalds. LOL.

OK lets start with the atmosphere, Since I am a little older that my two friends I am sure I recognized some of the pictures on the wall way before they did. I did not let them know this though. Dam is sucks to get old, but it is better than the alternative. The place was clean and brought back memories of Ted's Fish Fry from when I was a kid. The stainless steel back wall was shiny and clean and being a former restaurant manager I can tell you this is no easy task. I placed my order for their new Turkey sliders. Let me state here that when I was a kid of 16 or so my friends and We would go to a place called Jack's Drive in for sliders. They were called sliders because they were grilled greasy little burgers( not steamed like White Castle) covered with smothered onions that could just slide down you throat. They were DELICIOUS. While I waited for my food I strolled over to the toppings bar. The items were fresh and the color coordination was good. What I mean by this is that they seemed to try to not put the same color fixings right next to each other. Half the battle to pleasing the pallet it pleasing the eye first. I was pleasantly surprised by the options of condiments as well. There were two different mustards as well as BBQ sauce, mayo and Ketchup. There were also bottles of different condiments as well. I decided to bring a little of everything back to the table. When the buzzer went off I thought BCOM had hit the lottery, he had jumped up so fast telling us the food was ready I almost had to check out the rest rooms. I pick up my plate or plowel, what ever the dish is called that contained my sustenance and headed to our table. First I was disappointed that my sliders did not have any onions but I should have known they were not pictured with onions. I wonder why they are called sliders.

There were three Turkey ?sliders? served with the meal I decided to fix each one differently. All three I put tomatoes, and lettuce on. The first one I put jalapeño peppers, and Heinz 57 sauce on it. My first bite told me I had chose the correct topping for my liking but did I over power the taste of the burger was yet to be determined. The second one I toned down a bit and just added pickles and a touch of Mayo. I did receive more flavor from the turkey this way. The last T burger I again put some jalapeno peppers on this time without any condiments. Again I was able to get the flavor of the turkey as well the bite of the jalapeño that I love. The T burger is a hit with me as were the sweet potato french fries which I had never had before. I do still prefer regular fries over the SWP fries. While I will probably never call them sliders I would give the Turkey Burger and Fuddruckers a

TERRIFIC!!

Mr. Subb Bistros

Mr. Subb, localized competitor to the larger national Subway and Quiznos chains, is changing its face and its guts to move closer to the sit-down-and-enjoy-yourself eateries it competes with for the busy lunchtime crowd.

We're torn as to how good a job they've done.

J-Lam Says:
As I walked in, I said to myself, "This looks just like..." and then I couldn't finish the sentence because it looks just like every other semi-fast-food joint within a five-mile radius. I'm not sure what I was expecting when I read "Bistro" on the sign out front, but as I stood looking at the menu it occurred to me that all it takes to call yourself a Bistro, as opposed to a sub shop, is more chairs and lobster bisque.

Perhaps I'm just being cynical, but I don't get the difference otherwise. My personal opinion would be to keep it simple, stay true to the original flavor of the place, and if that means you don't need to spend millions to "keep up with the Joneses" (or the Quiznos) then pass the savings on to John Q. Public, and maybe bring a smile to his face.

I ordered the hot chicken parm sub, which was adequate. That is to say, I enjoyed it like I would enjoy any warm hunk of meat in red sauce with x-factor melted cheese on top. It was fine. It didn't wow me. Now, walking into a simple neighborhood sub shop, I don't expect to be wowwed by anything. Somehow, walking into a "bistro", I do. But I wasn't.

My distinguished colleague let me know that I should have picked one of their new Hot Paninis or their $5 cold subs, which were their advertised specials that day. OK, point taken. I screwed up. But I get the feeling that if I could go back in time and make it right, I'd still be shrugging and saying, "it was alright."

TURD.

B-Com Says:
Mr. Subb Bistro looks like a standard sub place, but they've added flat screen TV's, some light music in the background, and free Wi-Fi, which is pretty cool. I ordered up a chicken ceasar salad and a bowl of J-Lam's accursed lobster bisque.

The soup was forgettable. At first, it tasted fine, but when I hit the lobster puree at the bottom of the bowl, it reminded me of the beach. That is to say, it was sandy. If you find that to be yum-o (all apologies to Rachel Ray, please don't sue me,) then you know where to get it.

The salad was very good even though the chicken looked like it came from Mars. It was reddish-orange. I paused momentarily, but since J-Lam was still alive after scarfing half his chicken parm, I took a leap of faith and popped it in my mouth. It was good.

All-in-all, I have to give Mr. Subb Bistros a terrific, although it is admittedly nothing really special. J-Lam was ranting a raving about the increase in prices that he was absolutely sure would be reflected simply because they now call themselves a bistro. Since I was paying for lunch, and since he's a stoonad, I had to point out that their prices have actually NOT increased, and that they are now following the standard $5 foot-long sub formula their competition has dictated.

TERRIFIC!

Dunkin' Donuts Personal Pan Pizzas

Dunkin' Donuts is entering the madcap world of lunch-hour fast food with 5-inch personal pan pizzas and flatbread sandwiches. (See the official site at https://www.dunkindonuts.com/aboutus/products/NGSS.aspx)

We decided to try out the pizzas because we have a broader frame of reference. (For those of you who are used to our normal vocabulary level, that means we eat more pizza than flatbread sandwiches.) After reading our thoughts, you'll know why we think Dunkin' Donuts should change their slogan to Everyone Runs From Dunkin'!

B-Com Says:

Before I continue, let's remember that we went to a doughnut shop to get a pizza. Obviously, this is not Pizzaria Uno's or even Pizza Hut. It's certainly not your old-school neighborhood pizzaria where Uncle Guido has been hand-crafting deep-dish delights for over half a century. This is a doughnut shop looking to cash in on the lunchtime crowd by offering a 5-inch personal pizza you can whiz through the drive-thru and bring back to the office to pound down before your 1:00 meeting.

That being said, we decided to sample the cheese ($2.99) and the pepperoni ($3.29) varieties. Tryin the cheese first, I found it quite tasty. I came in expecting a reheated frozen pizza, and that's what I got, but the cheese was much better than Eelios or any of the dozens of other frozen pizza brands I've tried over the years. It actually made me look forward to the pepperoni because that's generally my pizza preference.

This is where the wheels fell off.

The pepperoni pizza was of a lower quality than most frozen pizzas I've tried: it was cardboardy, dry, and all-around pathetic. If you chopped up some mildly spicy meat-product, added a few drops of uninspiring sauce, and dropped it on a cracker (or any other vehicle on which to shove it down your piehole,) you could easily match this experience. As much as I enjoyed the cheese pizza, my experience with the pepperoni through the whole thing off. Whoever approved this experiment should be feverously working on a new-and-improved model because this one is a

TURD!!!

J-Lam Says:

Pizza Hut and Domino's have nothing at all to worry about.

Now, I understand why Dunkin' Donuts is heading in this direction because I'm probably the only guy in upstate New York who is willing to eat two Boston Creme doughnuts for lunch. But the personal pan pizzas offered don't make me want to spend my lunch break hunting up a Dunkin' Donuts.

First of all, for the price (which isn't much, but runs around the same price as a standard burger or chicken sandwich at any another fast food joint) there's not a lot of food here. The pizzas are only five inches across, and about an inch of that is dry crust. Taking my time with it, I got about seven bites out of the thing, and it felt like less. Not that I'm touting a huge burger for any particular reason, but when I spend a couple bucks on a Whopper, I walk away feeling like I actually ate something.

Then we get to the taste. Unlike my esteemed colleague, I had the displeasure of trying the pepperoni first. It reminded me of a dusty coaster that someone spilled pizza sauce on. The tiny pepperoni cubes were chewy and lacked flavor, and there was far less cheese on it than on its better-looking older brother. I struggled through it, already thinking up what incredibly mean things I could say about it in this blog.

Fortunately for pepperoni, I ate the cheese next, and it did a fairly good job of bringing me back into an agreeable state of mind. (In other words, it caused me to edit out all my nastiness except the coaster comment above.) Although still suffering from the same size and satisfaction shortcomings of the pepperoni variety, at least these seven bites were flavorful and enjoyable.

Overall, though, even the power of the cheese pizza can't turn this bad idea into anything other than a

TURD!!

Nothing But Noodles' "Italian Trio"

Making our first official foray into the world of restaurant food criticism, we found plenty to criticize at a normally impressive fast-but-not-fastfood food place: Nothing But Noodles. Here's their online menu, although, suspiciously, their new dishes don't appear! http://www.nothingbutnoodles.com/menu.php

B-Com Says:

First off, it's freezing inside! I've been in here in the heart of August and found the fireplace lit and roaring away. Today, when it's 2 outside, the fireplace is cold.

OK, now let me concentrate on what I ordered.

When I walked up to the counter, the picture announcing the New Italian Trio caught my eye. It showed three delectable offerings: Chicken Marsala, Chicken Piccata and Chicken Parmigiana. As I asked the girl behind the counter what Chicken Marsala was, I was greeted with a blank look. Assuming she didn't speak Italian as fluently as me, I slowly asked about Chicken Piccata. She was falling deeper into the void, and I was scared I might go with her into the netherworlds. So I threw it in reverse and ordered the Marsala.

In about a five-minute turnaround, the waitress brought out a bowl full of bowtie pasta, a boat-ton of chopped tomatoes, two thin chicken breasts and a light tannish-brown sauce. Just to clarify, there was a tremendous amount of chopped tomatoes. I mean, a hell of a lot of tomatoes. It was like two-thirds of the bowl. Seriously.

Taking one complete bite, I noted the springy pasta, the tender chicken, and a mouth absolutely dripping with chopped tomato. The sauce seemed to not even be there. It added nothing to the dish at all, and that left the rest of the ingredients floating around in one bowl with nothing in common.

It felt like a cheap wine all gussied up to make itself seem expensive. Nondescript, boring, and too many damn tomatoes!

TURD!

J-Lam says:

I gotta say, I didn't fair much better. While B-Com nearly drowned in the deep end with our space cadet counter girl, I was busy trying to manage filling two cups of iced tea from the fountain and juggle the napkins, silverware and straws from the central caddy because this restaurant is still grasping tight to the fast-food feel despite it's double-digit entree prices.

Don't get me wrong, all this aside, I normall love Nothing but Noodles. But their Italian Trio is an odd addition to their menu due to one important factor: the food is normally good, and these dishes aren't.

I chose the Chicken Parmigiana. How can you screw up Chicken Parm?

Here's how:

Put two frozen, breaded, thin strips of tasteless chicken on top of a pile of spaghetti coated in watery sauce and (you guessed it,) chopped tomatoes. Then, throw a handful of cheese on top and heat it up.

The sauce tasted alright, and the noodles were fine. (That's their real specialty, isn't it?) But the chicken was truly tough to swallow and I ended up leaving more than half of it. And that's not my style, if you know what I mean.

Overall, I was pretty disappointed. And by the time we left, I was totally sick of B-Com complaining about the damn tomatoes!