Orbit Gum - Mass Taste Test!

Another awesome Terrific or Turd first! Today you'll hear the exciting results of our first panel smell-and-taste test! The unfortunate brunt of our observations: Orbit Gum. We chose two brand new flavors (Sangria Fresca and Fabulous Fruitini) and a third with a little history(Citrus Mint). Feel free to try it yourself, if you dare, and see if you agree with our test panel:

Sangria Fresca - How Did It Smell?

R-Bat: "Great! Like a mexican restaurant!"

J-Lam: "Kinda like berry-flavored yogurt."

B-Com: "Cat piss."

L-Wil: "I smell apricots and peaches."

Sangria Fresca - How Did It Taste?

B-Com: "It's got a weird orange taste, like Gatorade. It socks you with a funny, intense flavor, then mellows to a long term orangyesque type, none of it very good."

J-Lam: "Heavy with fake sweetener, it's a sweet and sour punch in the face followed by a nasty aftertaste."

L-Wil: "It's just like Sangria, I can taste the grapefruit and citrus."

M-Sca: "It doesn't taste like it smells. I would not buy it again."

Fabulous Fruitini - How Does It Smell?

R-Bat: "Lemon Pledge."

M-Sca: "Tropical Bubble Yum."

Wipp: "Old shoe and coconut."

J-Lam: "Coconut rind stuck in my nose."

B-Com: "Funk mixed with bad cheese."

L-Wil: "Definitely smell coconut, but can't place what else."

Fabulous Fruitini - How Does It Taste?

B-Com: (gasping, gagging, laughing) "It hits you like a truck. Call it 'The Thing'. It's killing me inside. After the initial clobbering, it mellows to a tooth-tingling mintiness."

J-Lam: "Holy funky coconut rum, Batman!"

Wipp: "I didn't engulf the gum, it engulfed me!"

M-Sca: (rinsing mouth out) "Awful. Oh my God..."

L-Wil: "Soap."

Citrus Mint - How Does It Smell?

J-Lam: "Like Murphy's Oil Soap."

B-Com: "Fresh and lemony."

Wipp: "Ever smell TANG?"

R-Bat: "Yup, definitely TANG."

L-Wil: "Ground coriander." (Seriously? Ground coriander? That's awesome.)

M-Sca: "An unidentifiable sweet smell."

Citrus Mint - How Does It Taste?

J-Lam: "A much mellower flavor than the last two. I'm glad we're almost through here."

B-Com: "Finally, one that doesn't hit you like a sledge hammer. It's flavor is closest to it's name, I can taste both the citrus and the mint."

M-Sca: "Not citrus, but not bad. It's misnamed. It should be called 'Purple Explosion', or something equally cheesy."

L-Wil: "I can still taste the spices, but it got progressively worse the more I chewed."

A special thanks to all our panel participants, and a wholehearted apology to those whose answers were not recorded. Please comment to remind us how much you hated these

TURDS.

Fortifido Fortified Water for Dogs

OK, before you start laughing at us, keep in mind that a good half-dozen of our co-workers agreed to jump off this particular bridge with us, and happen to agree with our findings as recorded below.

J-Lam Says:

When B-Com first called me with the idea for this post, I laughed. I said to myself, "he's nuts. It'll never happen." Now I know he really is nuts, and I'm apparently not completely in my right mind either. Considering this is my first review of a beverage made for dogs, I'm not as confident in my expert-status. All I can do is tell it like I taste it.

The stuff smells like Gin, which is an interesting if not disturbing fact. It's flavor can only be described as extremely mild and nasty. We tried the parsley flavor (fortified with zinc for healthy skin) and one of our co-workers who is wise in the ways of such things said it really did taste like parsley. Apparently parsley has an extremely mild and nasty taste.

Now, considering the palate this stuff was designed for is slightly less discerning than mine (i.e. licks own butt) maybe it's not so bad for my dog. I don't know. Unfortunately we had no dogs with us at work to provide a more subjective opinion. I am very concerned over the fact that water made to taste like parsley can be purchased in a package that so closely resembles regular bottled water. At $.65 per liter, it may or may not be a rip-off. I guess that depends on how much you currently spend on bottled water for your dog.

Maybe I'm bitter, or maybe I'm just embarrased to be the first person to openly admit to the entire blogosphere that I drank Fortifido, but strictly on principle, I have to call this a world-class

TURD.

B-Com Says:

I'd like to offer a huge THANK YOU to Gabby for picking up Fortifido. This is a true TorT first!

Once a few years back I bought a bottle of Saratoga spring water. I took a gulp and found myself almost gagging on what tasted for all the world like liquid socks. My initial reaction was "What just went into my body? Am I going to die?" It turned out a small batch of their mineral water had accidentally leaked into the spring water and I was lucky enough to grab part of the bad batch.

The reason this comes to mind now is that the same liquid socks taste and the same "am I going to die" reaction accompanied my first and only swallow of Fortifido. Nothing that tastes like liquid socks can be anything but a

TURD.

Salad Creations

We took a group along for the ride when we went to check out one of the newest franchise restaurants to hit the Capital Region, Salad Creations. They are online at http://www.saladcreations.net/. Check them out, but make sure to come back to check this out:

J-Lam Says:

Walking into Salad Creations, located in a busy strip mall off Rt. 9 in Clifton Park, was surprising. My first impression as I entered was that the place was tiny, set up like a Chinese take-out place. But, as it turned out, it is just really small, with a section for eating-in off to the right where about three too many people sat scrunched together trying to enjoy their lunch hour. When our crew made it to the table, we boxed in the poor septugenarian (that means 70-year-old) couple who were trying to enjoy a quiet meal and immediately started harassing them with our banter.

But hey, the Terrific or Turd reputation for mindless banter means more to us than a couple of old folks' need for peacefully relaxed digestion, so we refused to apologize.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We walked in and I found myself in the midst of the lunch rush with seven people ahead of me in line. I automatically assumed I would be there a while and cursed the fact that I had to drive 15 minutes to get there. But, I was pleasantly surprised to see the Subway-esque server-line working like a well-oiled machine.

The menu contained a large, but easy-to-follow, array of choices. I decided to go with a chopped Romaine base and the "make-your-own" small-size option, which allowed me four toppings. I went with chickpeas (which provided some free protein, as opposed to paying extra for meat,) green peppers, red onions and black olives, then topped it off with an interesting-sounding Cucumber Wasabi dressing.

They threw a very generous helping of my concoction in a chilled metal bowl, added dressing until I said "when", and sent me down the line in around thirty seconds, leaving me very impressed. I found my self squeezing in shoulder-to-shoulder with Grandpa less than three minutes after having stepped through the door.

The salad was very good. Fresh, both in taste and in looks (an area most fast-food salads sadly de-emphasize) and delicious. The Cucumber Wasabi was a welcome change from the norm, but I would guess a classic Ranch or Italian dressing would have been just as scrumptious on that well-made Salad Creation.

It's my first of what I'm sure will be many visits, and there are plenty of other menu items (such as soups and wraps) that sound interesting, not to mention the virtually unlimited combinations available using their roughly 40 salad topping options. I don't need to hesitate at all before giving Salad Creations an enthusiastic

TERRIFIC!

B-Com Says:

After surveying the numerous available options in the few moments I had to scan the menu, I ended up going with one of the prepared formulas they offered, the Greek Salad. I asked my server to skip the tomatoes and croutons, and was very pleasantly surprised when she offered to let me choose two substitute toppings instead! And she didn't even give me the "Oh for the love of God!" expression the dude at Burger King saves for me every time I order the Whopper "my way." That's very gracious in my book.

In under three minutes, I had my salad and a fountain drink in hand and was headed to my seat having spent less than $7. Not a bad price at all for a high-quality, healthy and satisfying fast-food lunch.

One bone of contention: the fountain drink selection was limited, consisting of the standard sodas, one diet cola option and Tropicana lemonade. No unsweetened iced tea, which, beyond being my personal preference everywhere I go, seems a natural selection to partner with the low-calorie lunch Salad Creations specializes in.

That one point aside, however, I definitely agree with J-Lam on this one. Salad Creations earned a solid

TERRIFIC!